If You Take a Kid To Target

One of Audrey's favorite books is If You Give a Cat a Cupcake.  I have recently written my own version of this cause and effect story.  Please enjoy.

If You Take a Kid To Target

If you take a kid to target, they are going to ask you for a toy.
You'll be strong and say "no" at first, but then you'll find yourself in the dollar aisle.

While your child picks their 1, 4, 7 toys, you'll also notice a few items you would enjoy.
They'll have pretty stationary, scrapbooking supplies, and oh so lovely bath salts.
This will remind you of all the things you once enjoyed that you no longer have time for, thanks to that precious child in the cart.

You'll wish for the 100th time that your house had just 1 safe "kid" room where you could place said child, so you could indulge in some writing, scrapbooking, or a most wonderful bubble bath.

You'll decide right then and there to finally make that kid room happen, and head through Target with a playroom plan.
You'll stock up on organizational bins, bookshelves, and then realize they don't have any that match your current paint color.

You'll have to take that child (and it's sibling) to Lowes, where you'll grab some paint, a new rug, and a few other "necessities."

You'll work for days until your feet are sore and you are covered in paint, all the while dreaming of those bath salts.  You'll wish you could pad the walls of that room, so the kids could really be completely safe and you could just disappear in that bath for a couple of hours.

During this time, your dear husband will decide to have a 4th of July party and invite 25 people to your house the day before you leave for the beach.

You'll paint, clean and organize, and then organize and clean some more.  You'll inspect your new playroom and be pleased at how neat and organized all the toys are.

Then you'll unveil the room to the kids and watch with a smile as they squeal at those toys like they are brand new.  You decide it's time for that bubble bath.

When you finally emerge from the tub, feeling sufficiently pruney and wonderful, you'll stroll in with your glass of wine in your robe to check on those sweet angels.

MASS CHAOS.  SHEER AND UTTER DESTRUCTION. TOYS EVERYWHERE. MARKER ON THE WALLS. FINGER PAINT ON THE FLOORS. BLUEBERRIES SMASHED IN THE RUG. BROKEN TOYS WITH BATTERIES THAT HAVE SUDDENLY VANISHED WITHOUT A TRACE.

Your child (children) will begin to cry hysterically because her princess mirror no longer lights up and tells her she is the prettiest girl of all because of those missing batteries.

You'll sigh in exhaustion, put on some clothes, and take that child to Target to get some batteries.

No toys this time.  Fo' real.


**Pictures to come  :)